- You decide to lash
together the new deck on the back of your house
- You didn't mind
losing power to your house for three days
- Your plans for
remodeling the bathroom include digging the hole deeper
- You plan to serve
foil meals at your next dinner party
- You were arrested by
airport security because you wouldn't give up your official BSA pocket
knife until the cop said "Thank you" when he had a hold on it
- You walk the streets
in broad daylight with a coffee cup and a flashlight hanging from your
belt
- You take a map and a
compass along on a family walk around the block
- You have your own
desk and filing cabinet just for scout related paperwork
- Your garage is full
of what you used to consider trash, that you now consider raw materials
for arts & crafts projects
- Your calendar is
full of meetings that you never forget, but you can't remember to get a
card for your spouse's birthday
- You really love your
self-inflating sleep pad
- Your neighbors hide
when they see you going door to door with the popcorn order form again
- You go to someone's
house for dinner, don't like the food, and ask if they have peanut butter
and jelly
- Your front door has
a zipper instead of a dead bolt
- You know more than
two ways to light a fire
- Your gourmet meal
consists of cornbread, "Spam," and bug-juice
- Your "family
vacation" includes 30 kids your spouse doesn't know
- You hear the phrase,
"Trust me, it's only an hour and a half a week!!" and can only laugh
- You say "signs up"
in a business meeting to quiet everyone down
- You see a pile of
rocks and immediately put them in a circle
- You know 100 uses
for a bandana
- You have a
collection of used candles and dryer lint
- Your favorite
cologne is "Deep Woods Off"
- You have the end of
every rope at home backspliced or whipped
- You know 365 one pot
meals
- All your dishes have
little pieces of egg stuck to them
- Your pots and pans
are all black
- You always have a
cup hooked to your belt
- Your cannot walk by
a piece of trash without picking it up
- You carry a duffle
bag size first-aid kit in your car
- You carry your own
toilet paper wherever you go
- You spontaneously
break into strange songs in public
- You always read by
flashlight
- You hoard tent
stakes
- You always have hat
hair
- You actually own a
left-handed smoke shifter
- A trip to Philmont
is a pilgrimage
- The Scouts in your
troop chipped in to have you abducted by a professional cult de-programer
- You keep a bucket of
water by your side while cooking dinner
- You disconnect the
automatic dishwasher in favor of the "3 bucket method"
- You gave your wife a
mummy bag. It was the nicest gift you've given her
- You can recite the
12 points of the Scout Law backwards, in order, in 3 seconds flat
- You named one of
your kids "Baden"
- You pack to go on a
weekend trip to visit friends and you take your backpack instead of your
suitcase
- People don't
recognize when you're not in uniform
- You take the family
on vacation, and you stop at the Scout office to pick up a tour permit
- You have the local
BSA office on speed dial
- You actually own the
book, "How to S*** in The Woods"
- You have to go to
the restroom and you start looking for a buddy
- You wear two pair of
socks to bed
- You sleep under a
trash bag
- You're always
counting how many matches you have left
- You're the only one
on your block with a fire pit in the back yard
- You correct someone
who says "Gee, I used to be an Eagle Scout", and then get him to volunteer
in your troop
- You can't remember
which hand to shake with in the office on Monday morning
- Latrines at camp
start becoming comfortable
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